What I Believe: A Personal List of Values

Several years ago, I wrote a list of things I believe about the best way to live. At the time, I was reading numerous books and websites about personal development, health, habits, mindfulness, ethics, religion, and so on. I wanted to write a concise guide to myself that summarized some of the crucial ideas about living well and doing good that had become close to my heart and which I wanted to uphold in my daily life.

I occasionally modify this list, but it has largely remained unchanged since I first created it. It is a document I visit somewhat often, especially when I want to remind myself of who I want to be. It's not a comprehensive list of things I believe, and I think that its contents are a reflection of my areas for growth, rather than of my areas of expertise. (You may notice that there is nothing in this list about seeking justice, maintaining individuality, or speaking your mind--important values, but ones that historically haven't been much of a challenge for me.)

I also think that it reflects my deepest concerns about humanity and the way we treat each other. If I could direct a megaphone at the world, these are some of the things I would want to shout. If we all lived by these principles, we wouldn't go to war and kill each other, we wouldn't cruelly and needlessly slaughter billions of animals, and we wouldn't hate or ignore the people who truly need love. I guess you could call this my "Be the change" list, because these are the changes I want to see in the world, recognizing that the only person I can change is myself.

I am rather far away from being this person, but I think it is good to know the direction you intend to go if you want to get somewhere specific eventually.

This is my current "What I Believe" list:

1) Always strive to consistently and deliberately apply your beliefs and uphold your values when making any choice or taking any action, however insignificant or vital.

2) It is good to live peacefully. Do no harm.

3) Be loving. Practice empathy and altruism towards friends, enemies, and strangers. Develop your compassion and give it freely.

4) Treat all humans equally well. Don’t criticize, judge, or dismiss before you seek to understand.

5) Face reality, and take responsibility if you reasonably can. Hold yourself accountable before trying to change others. Blame can lie fully with more than one person.

6) Be of good humor and slow to anger and irritation. Have goodwill towards your fellow humans. Don’t act as though others intend to hurt you, and don’t be easily offended.

7) Choose a few creative hobbies to occupy your leisure time. Reading, writing, music, art, dancing, spending time in good company, playing tabletop games, sports, enjoying nature, learning languages, and science are good options. Exercise your mind, body, and soul frequently, and do so in ways that you enjoy.

8) Eat a healthy, seasonal, and locally-produced plant-based diet. Drink water.

9) Be genuine and tactfully honest with everyone you meet. Listen more than you talk, and talk about things that matter. Things most worth saying are both kind and true.

10) Be honorable both in your actions and in your intentions. 

11) A good decision considers what is best, not just what is right.

12) Take action on your plans as soon as you reasonably can and should. Procrastination is a vice.

13) Be patient and calm. Practice mindfulness. Be present.

14) In all of the above, strive for excellence, consistency, and authenticity.

If you've never written a list like this, I'd encourage you to do so. How do you want to be in the world? What's on your list?

What I Read: August 2017

Today I bring you the first installment of "What I Read," a compilation of mini-reviews of all the books I finished this month.

The Martian
Written by: Andy Weir
Narrated by: R. C. Bray (not my favorite narrator, but okay for the part and very enthusiastic)
How I read it: Audible audiobook
Why I read it: The movie is supposed to be great (it was!) so I wanted to read the book first.
One-sentence review: I loved this book for the reason that I usually love hard science fiction--it felt like a travelogue written just slightly in the future, and I kept forgetting it wasn't a true story.
My rating: 5/5 potatoes

Artemis Fowl
Written by: Eoin Colfer
How I read it: paperback
Why I read it: My husband recommended it as a fun, lightweight YA novel, perfect for our summer road trip.
One-sentence review: If you like fart jokes and the idea of an amoral, prepubescent James Bond blackmailing fairies, you will like this book.
My rating: 4/5 cheeseballs

Me, Myself, and Us: The Science of Personality and the Art of Well-Being
Written by: Brian R. Little, Ph.D.
Narrated by: Patrick Lawlor (a totally inappropriate choice of narrator, who made me wish I had read instead of listened)
How I read it: Audible audiobook
Why I read it: I saw it recommended somewhere on the internet, and studying the intersection of well-being and personality sounded interesting and useful. Plus, I liked that he isn't sold on the validity of the ever-popular Myers-Briggs personality typing.
One-sentence review: There are a lot of books about personality psychology you can read, and this one offers a slightly different perspective--but not that different.
My rating: 3/5 neuroses

Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic & the Domestic
Written by: Esther Perel
Narrated by: Esther Perel (beautiful voice, fascinating accent, excellent narrator)
How I read it: OverDrive audiobook
Why I read it: Because I recently got married, and growing up around a variety of sparkless marriages was depressing, so I've decided to do my research and take a pro-active, humble, and preventative approach to keeping things awesome.
One-sentence review: While I personally won't be taking some of her suggestions (like those about non-monogamy), I will certainly be remembering her hilarious client stories and her unique insights about communication, sex, love, and romance in the context of a long-term relationship.
My rating: 5/5 date nights

The Earth Gods
Written by: Kahlil Gibran
How I read it: hardback, with original illustrations by the author
Why I read it: I was drinking tea with my husband, and it was the closest poetry within reach on our dining room bookshelf. (What, you don't have a dining room bookshelf?) Also because Gibran's The Prophet is wonderful, so I suspected this would be as well.
One-sentence review: This is a deeply beautiful book about earth and soul, beauty and despair, love and longing, and I'm not sure I "got it", but it will only take half an hour to read again.
My rating: 5/5 fields untrodden

How to Drink Tea

1. Earth
Plant a seed on a misty mountainside
then meditate for a long time
until the plant that grows from the soil
tells you it is ready.

2. Air
Take your basket of leaves to a good breathing place,
spread them beneath the sky,
and touch them with your palms
until they tell you they are warm.

3. Fire
Watch lightning bloom an ancient tree into a blazing pyre
and see beauty instead of death.
Collect the fire in your trembling hands
and carry it to safer ground.
Feed it slowly until it tells you it is full.

4. Water
Gather rain from a clean and shivering riverbed
in a pot that knows how to remain still.
Lay your warm and ready leaves inside the pot,
and lay the pot inside the flames.
Listen to the water
until it tells you it is laughing.

5. Soul
Drink until you become more earth than bone,
more air than breath,
more fire than ash,
more water than blood.
When your cup is empty, fill it
until it tells you it is no longer thirsty.